11 Skills to Develop in Your Marriage

Develop better listening skills. Stop interrupting.  Pay Attention.  Turn off the TV.  Turn off the Computer.  Turn off the Ipod.  Turn off the PDA.  Face your mate.  Touch while talking.  Lean into them.  Don’t try to solve every problem.

Develop better talking skills. Ask more questions.  Repeat important phrases and thoughts.  Repeat what they say.  Ask for clarification.  Listen better.  Dig for deeper understanding.  Seek first to understand then be understood (Stephen Covey).  Express if you want an answer or just want to talk.

Develop better touching skills. Figure out what type of touch your mate likes.  Get into massage class.  Buy some nice oil or lotion.  Warm up your hands.  Mix it up between deep massage and light strokes.  Hold hands.  Pat each other on the butt.  In public.  Hug in front of your kids.  Kiss.  Kiss for 20 seconds.  Kiss for 60 seconds.  Hug for 60 seconds.

Develop better serving skills. Do something without being told.  Breakfast in bed.  Take out the trash.  Bring the newspaper and coffee.  Learn their love language.  Make dinner and clean up the dishes afterward.  Rub her feet.  Rub his feet.  Work on your oral sex skills.  Work on your foreplay skills.  Work on something your spouse likes and you don’t like.

Develop better money skills. Make a budget.  Live below your means.  Get rid of debt.  Find crazy good deals with coupons (this is new in our family).  10% tithe, 10% save, 80% to live (ideal).  Earn more so you can give more.   Don’t spend all your paycheck the day you get it.  Slow down with big purchases.  Sleep on it.  Be able to walk away before you buy.  If you still want it the next day and can pay cash – ok (thanks Dave)

Develop better family skills. Be Present.  Go to games.  Make lunches.  Go pick up the kids from school.  Go outside and play.  Be the family that all the kids in your neighborhood want.  Know the names of your child’s friends.  Be the safe house where kids can come play.

Develop better emotional skills. Work on keeping emotions in check. Remember you are responsible for your emotions.  No one else.  Realize your mate is on your team.  They are not out to get you.  If they are, well, that’s a subject for another blog.

Develop better self awareness skills. How do others see you?  How does your spouse see you?  How do you respond to stress, to work, to family time, to delays, to responsibility?  What are your strong suits, where are you weak?  What causes you to break down?  What are your triggers that you need to be aware of ?  Who are you accountable to?

Develop better parent skills Remember your kids will do what they see you do. Be a good example.  Love them.  Hug them.  Tell them they are valuable.  Praise them.  Discipline wisely.  Admit when you mess it up.  Kiss boo boos.  Make sure you have plenty of cool band aids.

Develop better cleaning skills. Scrubbing Bubbles doesn’t work like it says it does. You actually have to scrub. Who knew?  Not me.

Develop better feeling skills Don’t try to solve every problem.  Listen.  Guys – lead with a feeling sometimes, not an answer.  Ladies – lead with the punchline of the story and then share the details.

Photo by panders1230