Two Quick Ways to Change Your Thoughts

Yesterday I gave you some thoughts on how to change other people. But the truth is, you can’t change others. You can only change yourself.

Today, I want to help you begin the changing process, so here are…

Two Quick Ways To Change Your Thoughts

I love learning more and more about healthy marriages. It’s amazing to me the tools that are available to help us get along better as couples.

These two ways to change your thoughts aren’t directly related to your marriage – but can help you immensely with your thought life – which in turn will help your marriage.

Memorization and Meditation

I have this B-I-G stack of index cards full of Bible Verses. I remember as a kid in Christian Pre-school the deck of alphabet cards that had a bible verse on them (anyone else learn the alphabet this way?).

I also had a boss who wrote verses on cards – and made notes to himself on the back when they were of use – or further thoughts to encourage himself. (I thought this was a cool idea.)

I started my index card pile (now almost an inch thick) when we were in New Orleans, about 6ish years ago. I was  in a good place with my relationship with God, so I wanted to start to memorize certain verses that were helpful to me.  I grabbed some multi-colored cards (white are BORING!) and started writing.

I have to be honest – the pile got too big. It was difficult to memorize, so I just read thru them every once in a while.

Since then, I have moved them, lost them, found them, read them, moved them again and put them in the back of a junk drawer.

But I recently dug them out.

I wanted to try something that Gary Smalley suggested at his conference that my wife and I attended.

He said that 2 things could radically change my thinking.

1: Memorization of Scripture

They don’t  have to be whole books of the bible – just pieces that are helpful in the situation.

His example dealt with the issue of lust. Not too long ago, he was walking thru a town he was visiting and noticed an attractive woman walking his way. After she passed, he began imagining her undressed. As he continued on, his mind continued the fantasy.

(side note: It’s encouraging to hear stories like this from one of the most influential Marriage Speakers and counselors in the country!! I am NOT ALONE!!)

He stopped himself and observed his mental situation. Why did his mind automatically go there – and he asked God – “Am I always going to be like this?”

When he arrived back home, he went to the Bible looking for a verse that explained, or, shed light on his situation. He went to Galatians 5:13-15

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out! Beware of destroying one another.

He memorized the verses.

2: Meditation on Scripture

Next, he said that he meditated on these verses  every day.

I used to think that ‘meditation’ was only for those who did Yoga or were Buddhist Monks. Thankfully, I realized that meditation simply means reflection or contemplation… I didn’t have to fold myself into a pretzel to meditate. (but, I COULD eat pretzels WHILE meditating.)

Gary went on to explain that after only two weeks of meditating on these verses, he had another opportunity to monitor himself in a situation.

He was at a conference and staying in a  hotel. One evening, he was in the hot tub when 2 attractive ladies in bikinis headed his way.

Instead of lust, he explained his first thoughts were – ‘Do they know how much God loves them?’ ‘Do they know how valuable they are in His sight?’ and ‘I hope their husbands love them like God does.’

That’s a pretty radical change.

My M&M’s

I wanted to try this out personally, so here are the 2 verses I am trying out (plus the ones from above):

Matthew 6:13 And lead us(me) not into temptation,

but deliver us(me) from the evil one.

and

Mark 14:38 – Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.

Every time there is an opportunity to lust – I am saying these verses in my head.

If I can derail lustful thoughts before they take hold – that is a good thing!

Do you have Favorite M&M’s?

What do you think about Memorizing and Mediation as 2 ways to change your thoughts?

Have you seen this work in your life?

Photo by Vernhart