A Marriage is not so much the union of two great lovers, but two great forgivers” – Ed Young
Title: The 10 Commandments of Marriage, the Do’s and Don’ts for a Lifelong Covenant
Author: Ed Young
Basic Plot or Story:
This book is not a story per se, but a collection of stories and helps for married couples with a ‘framework’ of the 10 Commandments.
While normally, this would not be a book that I would have picked up in the bookstore, due to the “cheesy” (in my mind) title, there are some really great helps in this book for married couples.
Its always nice to read a book that goes back to the Bible for principles, and Ed Young does this throughout.
A quick run down of the commandments (chapters) gives you a good idea of where the book goes:
1 – Thou Shalt Not be a Selfish Pig
2 – Thou Shalt Cut the Apron Strings
3 – Thou Shalt Continuously Communicate
4 – Thou Shalt Make Conflict they Ally
5 – Thou Shalt Avoid the Quicksand of Debt
6 – Thou Shalt Flee Sexual Temptation – Online and Otherwise
7 – Thou Shalt Forgive Thy Mate – 490 Times and More
8 – Thou Shalt Keep the Home Fires Burning
9 – Thou Shalt Begin Again and Again
10 – Thou Shalt Build a Winning Team
What can you apply right away?
…they began to ask each other, “What says ‘I love you’ to you?” They committed to act on the answers they heard and thus found the key to mutual submission.
There are several Anagrams and Alliterations throughout the book that are explored in depth – (some don’t enjoy that type of teaching – but I find it helps my memory!) Here are a couple:
What makes a MATURE Marriage:
*Motivation
*Attentiveness
*Tenderness
*Understanding
*Respect
*Excitement
What Factors contribute to an Affair?
*Proximity – ‘Over’ closeness with someone from the opposite sex
*Problems – We all have them at home
*Playboy Philosophy – “if something feels good it must be ok”
If you liked this, what other books might you enjoy?
Turn Up the Heat by Kevin Leman
If I could only read one chapter, which one would I read?
Chapter 4 “Thou Shalt Make Conflict Thy Ally”.
All marriages have conflict, and as I continue to be married, I realize that I bring some pretty screwed up ways of communicating to the table. And many of those weird ways to communicate come out when we are arguing.
Ed discussed good and bad conflict, the myths of conflict in marriages, some don’ts of conflict (ie. Don’t air your dirty linen in public), and how to keep conflict constructive, and learning to control your reactions.
Have you ever considered that your reactions may have a greater effect on your marriage than your actions?…How we respond reveals the real person inside…What happens when you put a tea bag in a cup of hot water? The water soon begins to turn brown. Why? Did the hot water turn itself brown? No. The “brownness” was in the tea bag the whole time; the hot water merely brought out its natural color.
The Big Wrap up
While this book may not have been high on my reading list, I think that the heart is in the right place. And to be honest, I did learn a couple new things in the process.
This book would be a great beginning book to read together if you are looking for something easy to enjoy and share with one another. With questions at the end of each chapter, it would give you and your spouse some great conversation starters.
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